1 00:00:03,233 --> 00:00:07,600 - [Keith] Dear Ani, if you're reading this, it's a miracle. 2 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,900 But those happen all the time. 3 00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:11,566 (intense music) 4 00:00:11,566 --> 00:00:14,933 - [Speaker] Any memories, impressions, feelings, 5 00:00:14,933 --> 00:00:19,766 thoughts about this guy, Keith Wasserman. 6 00:00:19,766 --> 00:00:21,166 - Hi. 7 00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:22,633 I'm Keith. 8 00:00:22,633 --> 00:00:24,300 - [Jerry] I never, in all my years working with artists 9 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:26,266 have ever heard a story like this. 10 00:00:26,266 --> 00:00:31,266 - [Keith] From theater in a space to theater in the world. 11 00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:34,933 This is my- 12 00:00:34,933 --> 00:00:35,900 - [Director] Recording. 13 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:36,900 - [Keith] True story. 14 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:38,833 - [Audio] Is it that? 15 00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:40,000 Is it that? 16 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,266 Is it that? 17 00:00:41,266 --> 00:00:44,466 ♪ I hope you like it 18 00:00:44,466 --> 00:00:46,400 (gentle music) 19 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:47,766 - When I was a college student, 20 00:00:47,766 --> 00:00:49,933 my professor put a book in my hands, 21 00:00:49,933 --> 00:00:52,266 and the book was called "Letters to a Young Poet" 22 00:00:52,266 --> 00:00:53,466 by Rainer Maria Rilke. 23 00:00:54,933 --> 00:00:57,766 And in the book, he talks about the need to be in isolation 24 00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,266 and get really still 25 00:00:59,266 --> 00:01:03,166 so that you can fully know yourself and become an artist. 26 00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:06,166 And so I decided to take a semester off from college, 27 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:10,466 and move up to a cabin by a lake in Northern Maine, 28 00:01:10,466 --> 00:01:14,333 and try to find my voice and write my great novel. 29 00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:19,233 Of course, when I got up there, totally froze. 30 00:01:19,233 --> 00:01:21,466 What story do I have to tell? 31 00:01:21,466 --> 00:01:22,700 And rather than writing, 32 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,733 every day I would go to the edge of the lake, 33 00:01:24,733 --> 00:01:26,566 and I would sit in this folding lawn chair, 34 00:01:26,566 --> 00:01:28,200 and I would stare out over the water, 35 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,200 and I would say to the universe, 36 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:35,500 "I believe in your magic and your majesty. 37 00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:37,733 Just show me a sign. 38 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:41,133 Send me a story worth telling." 39 00:01:42,966 --> 00:01:47,366 A few days after that, I got a package in the mail 40 00:01:47,366 --> 00:01:49,066 from this person whom 41 00:01:49,066 --> 00:01:51,366 I really was no more than an acquaintance with. 42 00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:56,366 And in the package was a mix tape of Ani DiFranco, 43 00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:00,466 a name I had literally never heard of. 44 00:02:00,466 --> 00:02:02,200 (light music) 45 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:06,866 Suffice it to say, this tape changed the course of my life. 46 00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,233 (dramatic music) 47 00:02:10,233 --> 00:02:11,566 - I'm Kurt Loder with MTV News, 48 00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:13,700 New York singer and songwriter Ani DiFranco says 49 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,433 record companies have been nipping at her heels 50 00:02:15,433 --> 00:02:16,700 for years now, 51 00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:18,300 but she's still happy right where she is 52 00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:20,133 on Righteous Babe Records, 53 00:02:20,133 --> 00:02:21,733 the little label she started on her own 54 00:02:21,733 --> 00:02:23,233 when she was 18-years-old. 55 00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:25,633 Unencumbered by producers and publicists, 56 00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:28,733 DiFranco gets to be her folk, punky, bisexual self on record 57 00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:30,233 and to communicate with her fans, 58 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,733 of whom there are a growing and devoted number, directly. 59 00:02:32,733 --> 00:02:34,766 - So I immediately jump in the car, 60 00:02:34,766 --> 00:02:36,700 throw the tape in the cassette player, 61 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:40,733 and head off into the windy roads of Northern Maine, 62 00:02:40,733 --> 00:02:43,233 beautiful fall foliage all around. 63 00:02:43,233 --> 00:02:45,133 And I'm listening to the tape. 64 00:02:45,133 --> 00:02:48,466 (Keith imitating music) 65 00:02:50,566 --> 00:02:52,466 It was the song "Asking Too Much." 66 00:02:53,733 --> 00:02:56,400 ♪ I want somebody who sees the pointlessness ♪ 67 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,533 ♪ And still keeps their purpose in mind ♪ 68 00:02:59,533 --> 00:03:03,100 ♪ I want somebody who has a tortured soul ♪ 69 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,666 ♪ Some of the time 70 00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:08,966 ♪ I want somebody who will either put out for me ♪ 71 00:03:08,966 --> 00:03:11,666 ♪ Or put me outta my misery 72 00:03:11,666 --> 00:03:14,366 ♪ Or maybe just put it all the words and make me go ♪ 73 00:03:14,366 --> 00:03:17,366 ♪ You know, I never heard it put that way ♪ 74 00:03:17,366 --> 00:03:21,533 ♪ Make me go, what did you just say ♪ 75 00:03:21,533 --> 00:03:24,133 - And I heard that song, 76 00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:25,000 and I thought, 77 00:03:26,966 --> 00:03:30,000 okay, I can do that. 78 00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:34,966 And I wrote a 14=page letter to Ani DiFranco 79 00:03:34,966 --> 00:03:37,166 about the nature of cosmic coincidence, 80 00:03:37,166 --> 00:03:39,466 and suggested that we become pen pals. 81 00:03:40,666 --> 00:03:44,133 Two months later, on the day before I left Maine 82 00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:47,033 to return to New York City and go back to my life, 83 00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:50,000 when I went to return the PO Box key to the mail, 84 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:54,766 to the post office, I got my last piece of mail, 85 00:03:54,766 --> 00:03:57,200 a Green Seasons greeting holiday postcard 86 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,033 from Ani DiFranco with five words written on it. 87 00:04:03,266 --> 00:04:05,433 "Stay the (beeps) away from me." 88 00:04:05,433 --> 00:04:08,200 (Keith laughing) 89 00:04:10,866 --> 00:04:12,200 And that's it. 90 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,200 Let's just like let that linger. 91 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,600 Oh my God, what did it say? 92 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,766 What did it say, right? 93 00:04:16,766 --> 00:04:18,366 - [Director] Okay, well, why don't you do a version 94 00:04:18,366 --> 00:04:20,033 where you actually say what the letter said. 95 00:04:20,033 --> 00:04:22,400 - Well, the thing is that what it said was, 96 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,733 "Thanks for thinking, the world is a lot." 97 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:30,733 Which was a line from the letter buried deep on page eight. 98 00:04:32,366 --> 00:04:36,666 So I knew she read it, and it was game on. 99 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,866 Two days after Christmas, 100 00:04:38,866 --> 00:04:41,200 I got on a Greyhound bus headed for New York City. 101 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,533 (light music) 102 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,766 And New York City has such an energy and a pace, 103 00:04:44,766 --> 00:04:48,100 and I had been sitting still for so long 104 00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:52,000 that it was like energy just started pouring out of me. 105 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:57,533 At that point, I hadn't slept in about two days. 106 00:04:57,533 --> 00:04:59,366 While I was living in Maine, 107 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:02,933 I was reading a lot of books about mysticism and shamanism, 108 00:05:02,933 --> 00:05:06,433 and the whole idea of having a vision quest 109 00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:10,433 in which you return from the wilderness 110 00:05:10,433 --> 00:05:15,433 with the magical elixir to share with the community. 111 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:20,333 And when that happens, the community throws you a party 112 00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:22,266 to celebrate your return, 113 00:05:22,266 --> 00:05:25,100 to honor the fact that the boy has become a man, 114 00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,100 that you've tackled your demons, 115 00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:29,800 and you've chased your bliss, 116 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,933 and you have emerged successful. 117 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,633 And as I began to experience 118 00:05:36,933 --> 00:05:41,233 this manic psychotic episode as a vision quest, 119 00:05:41,233 --> 00:05:42,833 I was looking for the party. 120 00:05:44,666 --> 00:05:46,466 Where was I gonna end up? 121 00:05:46,466 --> 00:05:47,766 Who was gonna be there? 122 00:05:47,766 --> 00:05:48,833 Was Ani gonna be there? 123 00:05:48,833 --> 00:05:50,266 Were my parents invited? 124 00:05:51,766 --> 00:05:55,266 But I was looking for the party everywhere I went. 125 00:05:55,266 --> 00:05:56,900 And everywhere I went, 126 00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:58,833 I felt like I was getting closer to it. 127 00:06:00,066 --> 00:06:02,333 And with all of this fervor and energy, 128 00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:05,800 I started walking up the avenue looking for this party. 129 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,666 I remember seeing somebody with a guitar 130 00:06:08,666 --> 00:06:10,566 walking into an apartment building. 131 00:06:10,566 --> 00:06:12,666 Ooh, well, that must be where the party is. 132 00:06:12,666 --> 00:06:13,833 The next thing I know, 133 00:06:15,233 --> 00:06:18,333 the very nice doorman is tapping me on the shoulder. 134 00:06:19,366 --> 00:06:23,033 Apparently I'm scaring the people 135 00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:24,833 who live in the apartment building, 136 00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:26,200 and he's been getting calls 137 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,500 that there's a young man crawling on his hands and knees, 138 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:33,533 listening under the door of people's apartments for music, 139 00:06:33,533 --> 00:06:35,733 all while laughing hysterically 140 00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:38,333 and singing songs to himself. 141 00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:41,200 So the police come and say to me, 142 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,700 "Do you think you want to come with us?" 143 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,500 It's like, "Listen, if you guys want me to come with you, 144 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:45,866 I'll come with you, 145 00:06:45,866 --> 00:06:48,166 but I don't know if I should come with you. 146 00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:50,900 But if you tell me I should, then I will." 147 00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:53,333 The officers put me in the back of their cruiser, 148 00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:57,833 and I pass by the sign Bellevue Hospital. 149 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,800 What do you suppose is the name of the street 150 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,133 that I grew up on? 151 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:06,566 Bellevue Road. 152 00:07:06,566 --> 00:07:09,866 So when I saw Bellevue, I thought, 153 00:07:09,866 --> 00:07:12,766 oh my gosh, I'm going home. 154 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,566 I jump out of the car 155 00:07:14,566 --> 00:07:16,866 and run straight into the emergency room, 156 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:22,233 where I would sign myself in under a fake name. 157 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:24,733 They put me in a room, 158 00:07:24,733 --> 00:07:28,800 and I remember getting up onto the bed 159 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:33,800 and slipping my hands into the restraint cuffs. 160 00:07:36,866 --> 00:07:41,866 It's in that moment that I realize, this is my story. 161 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:51,366 Sort of five years until my next manic episode, 162 00:07:51,366 --> 00:07:53,400 when the album To The Teeth came out. 163 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,233 It was about 96 hours since I slept, 164 00:07:57,233 --> 00:08:00,133 and I was listening to the record for the 50th time, 165 00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:02,800 but this time there was a line. 166 00:08:04,666 --> 00:08:07,500 "And the angels were on hand to stand in for everything." 167 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,833 And I remembered that there was this whole riff 168 00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:12,966 in the letter that I had sent her five years ago 169 00:08:12,966 --> 00:08:15,300 about angels. 170 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:18,966 And all of a sudden I started to hear reference 171 00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:23,800 after reference in her music to my letter. 172 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:26,833 And I thought, holy (beeps). 173 00:08:28,033 --> 00:08:31,166 Has Ani DiFranco been trying to write back? 174 00:08:32,633 --> 00:08:35,133 - He's a musician slash, 175 00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:37,766 as I soon found out, Renaissance man. 176 00:08:37,766 --> 00:08:40,133 And this guy, not only is he talent, 177 00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:42,533 but he is out there. 178 00:08:42,533 --> 00:08:43,933 - You dog. 179 00:08:43,933 --> 00:08:46,800 - [Jerry] He's so out there that he's delusional. 180 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,600 - I believed Ani was writing to me 181 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,333 through the lyrics of her songs, 182 00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:53,433 and I responded in kind by sending her music 183 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,500 and elaborate packages of art mail. 184 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:58,966 - [Jerry] It's not normal to spend, 185 00:08:58,966 --> 00:09:03,600 you know, weeks and weeks, hours and hours, 186 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:08,500 creating a package of layered, 187 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:13,500 interactive mixed media CD's based on her songs. 188 00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:19,266 And, you know, I'm sitting there, I'm thinking, 189 00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:22,366 I've never experienced anybody like this. 190 00:09:22,366 --> 00:09:27,366 This guy's passion went beyond anybody I've ever met 191 00:09:28,733 --> 00:09:33,033 in terms of trying to reach out to this famous musician 192 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:39,100 in a way that was completely from the heart, mind, soul, 193 00:09:39,933 --> 00:09:43,200 that became like his muse. 194 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,700 And he had this belief that she was talking 195 00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:51,700 and writing lyrics to him based on his amazing gifts. 196 00:09:55,166 --> 00:09:57,533 Staying up for days at a time, 197 00:09:57,533 --> 00:10:01,600 kind of cathartic creativity that 198 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:05,200 his brain would not let him relax. 199 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,933 What was the end game of this? 200 00:10:09,833 --> 00:10:13,033 - In 2010, as I was drawing out in the hospital 201 00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:15,700 from my recent manic psychotic episode, 202 00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,200 whether it's a good idea or not, 203 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,933 I was listening to a lot of Ani DiFranco. 204 00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:21,200 (Keith laughs) 205 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,533 And one of her lyrics caught my attention, 206 00:10:23,533 --> 00:10:27,033 the one that goes, "People used to make records, 207 00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:29,000 as in a record of an event, 208 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,566 the event of people making music in a room." 209 00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:35,933 And I thought that would be a cool thing to do. 210 00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:39,500 Up to this point, she's only heard songs 211 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,533 with my voice and a guitar, 212 00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:43,333 and she's never really seen me. 213 00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:45,533 What if I were to put a band together 214 00:10:45,533 --> 00:10:50,533 and record a film in one take to make music your room? 215 00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:56,900 ♪ I wanna get inside your head 216 00:10:56,900 --> 00:11:01,266 ♪ To understand your heart 217 00:11:01,266 --> 00:11:05,133 ♪ I wanna make you pick your skin ♪ 218 00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:08,933 ♪ And tear your flesh apart 219 00:11:08,933 --> 00:11:13,933 - He has this magnetic pull through his personality. 220 00:11:14,766 --> 00:11:16,266 - Keith has this unique ability 221 00:11:16,266 --> 00:11:18,066 to get you to work on a project 222 00:11:18,066 --> 00:11:20,900 when you really don't even know the purpose of the project. 223 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,100 ♪ Down here in the- 224 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,566 - I think with the see through film, 225 00:11:23,566 --> 00:11:27,166 it wasn't until I saw the box that I really understood 226 00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:28,600 what the intention was. 227 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,133 - It was the size of a cigar box, 228 00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:33,600 but designed to look like a novel. 229 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,800 There was a lock on the box, 230 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:41,666 and the key to the lock was hidden in a sleeve 231 00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:45,966 that you had to discover by following a twine 232 00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,566 that was wrapped around. 233 00:11:47,566 --> 00:11:51,633 When you finally get there and you open up the box, 234 00:11:51,633 --> 00:11:54,266 it has a false bottom. 235 00:11:54,266 --> 00:11:58,633 You actually have to lift up the bottom of the box 236 00:11:58,633 --> 00:12:00,166 to discover what's inside. 237 00:12:00,166 --> 00:12:03,833 And when you do, it's a DVD. 238 00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:05,066 - I remember looking at that box 239 00:12:05,066 --> 00:12:08,533 and realizing that this was all for Ani. 240 00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:11,066 This was all for an audience of one. 241 00:12:11,066 --> 00:12:13,500 I was never gonna get to see her reaction. 242 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:17,000 I was never gonna even know if she ever watched it. 243 00:12:17,966 --> 00:12:19,066 And Keith didn't care. 244 00:12:20,066 --> 00:12:20,900 It didn't matter. 245 00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:26,166 - In 2012, Ani DiFranco was coming to Boston 246 00:12:26,166 --> 00:12:28,300 to play a show at the Orpheum Theater. 247 00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:30,966 (bubbly music) 248 00:12:30,966 --> 00:12:35,900 Because of some random lyric of hers, 249 00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:38,833 I thought that the appropriate time to show up 250 00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:40,666 would be five o'clock in the morning. 251 00:12:41,966 --> 00:12:45,200 Of course, the moment you approach the tour bus 252 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:49,166 at five o'clock in the mornings idling behind the theater, 253 00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:53,000 you think to yourself, what the am I doing here? 254 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,566 (Keith laughs) This is ridiculous. 255 00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:57,000 What am I hoping to accomplish? 256 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,700 This is a ridiculousness based on a fiction, 257 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:02,300 which is based on a delusion rooted in fantasy. 258 00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:04,100 Just leave, go home. 259 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:08,400 So at 12:31, I return to the theater. 260 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,033 And at this point now there's ropes set up, 261 00:13:11,033 --> 00:13:14,400 and I get over to where everybody else is standing. 262 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:18,433 And sure enough, this woman who I recognize 263 00:13:18,433 --> 00:13:22,133 as the mistress of merchandising, Heidi. 264 00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:25,466 She walks over to me and she says, "Are you Keith?" 265 00:13:25,466 --> 00:13:27,433 And I said, "Yeah." 266 00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:29,366 And she said, "Oh, good, listen, 267 00:13:29,366 --> 00:13:30,866 Ani really wants to meet you, 268 00:13:30,866 --> 00:13:33,133 but the thing is, she's lost her voice." 269 00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:35,100 And I say, "Oh, well, oh my God. 270 00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:39,400 I mean, come on, don't make any trouble over me. 271 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,133 You know, I don't wanna cause it." 272 00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:43,133 "No, no, no, no, no," she says. 273 00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:44,900 "Just wait here, just wait here." 274 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:47,266 I said, "Okay." 275 00:13:47,266 --> 00:13:48,866 I mean, now I know. 276 00:13:48,866 --> 00:13:51,300 Now I know that Ani wants to meet me, 277 00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:52,533 and I'm standing there and I'm waiting. 278 00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:54,133 And Heidi comes back over and she says, 279 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:56,066 "Okay, come on, come on." 280 00:13:56,066 --> 00:13:58,900 And I'm walking towards the bus 281 00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:00,266 and along the side of the bus, 282 00:14:00,266 --> 00:14:02,333 and the door opens, and Ani comes out. 283 00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:04,100 She gives me a little wave. 284 00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:06,133 And we approach, and we approach, and we approach. 285 00:14:06,133 --> 00:14:09,533 And before I know it, she's just hugging me, 286 00:14:09,533 --> 00:14:10,800 and I'm just hugging her. 287 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,200 And it's just so, you know, (Keith snaps) 288 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,266 deep, and cool, and yeah. 289 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,600 And we back away, 290 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,766 and she pulls that little note. 291 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,833 And I read the note. 292 00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:26,800 And the thing is that I didn't wanna stand there 293 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,200 like staring at the note. 294 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,000 I mean, I'm scanning it, and I'm looking, 295 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,466 and I'm scanning it, and I get the gist of it. 296 00:14:32,466 --> 00:14:35,600 And now thinking about what to do next. 297 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,033 I feel like the obvious thing to do, 298 00:14:38,033 --> 00:14:40,633 you know, for the sake of theater 299 00:14:40,633 --> 00:14:43,033 is to crumble up the note and eat it. 300 00:14:43,033 --> 00:14:45,266 And no words were spoken. 301 00:14:45,266 --> 00:14:46,833 And then the cab pulled up, 302 00:14:46,833 --> 00:14:49,300 and she got in and drove off. 303 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:52,600 (upbeat music) 304 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,866 I was sort of thinking about flow state 305 00:14:55,866 --> 00:14:58,000 as another way to sort of say mastery. 306 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,200 Flow state, jazz musicians are just in the flow state. 307 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,033 And I was thinking about with jazz musicians, you know, 308 00:15:03,033 --> 00:15:05,200 there is the lexicon, there's the language, 309 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,200 there's the vocabulary, there's the structure, 310 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,200 and you can like free out within that. 311 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,266 And then I was thinking about mania, or my mania, 312 00:15:13,266 --> 00:15:17,866 where it's almost like a flow state. 313 00:15:17,866 --> 00:15:18,833 - [Glen] Yeah. 314 00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:20,366 - [Keith] And over the 20 years- 315 00:15:20,366 --> 00:15:21,833 - [Glen] Right. 316 00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:24,033 - I have built a lexicon, a vocabulary, a symbology, 317 00:15:24,033 --> 00:15:25,333 a catalog of imagery. 318 00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,033 It is my connection. 319 00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:31,533 It is my gateway drug into one love, 320 00:15:31,533 --> 00:15:35,666 into universal consciousness, into the God spark within me, 321 00:15:35,666 --> 00:15:38,666 into the the sefirot to the Kabbalah tree of life 322 00:15:38,666 --> 00:15:40,200 working the energy up. 323 00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:45,400 There's this thing called the deep wink. 324 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:50,400 And I have always felt that Ani and I 325 00:15:51,266 --> 00:15:53,866 connected inside this deep wink, 326 00:15:53,866 --> 00:15:55,766 and it was all unspoken, 327 00:15:55,766 --> 00:16:00,800 and it was all referential, second level subtextual stuff. 328 00:16:01,966 --> 00:16:06,233 But for me, I have always wanted to say, 329 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:07,600 let's talk about it. 330 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,500 Let's bring that subtextual, meta referential stuff 331 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:14,266 up to the surface, and chop it up, and cut it around, 332 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:15,600 and make jokes, and laugh, 333 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,666 and say, "Oh God, you did that, and I did that. 334 00:16:17,666 --> 00:16:19,066 Then ha and ha!" 335 00:16:19,066 --> 00:16:23,400 But that's only works if it's true, 336 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,466 and I have no idea whether it's true. 337 00:16:26,633 --> 00:16:30,733 One day after having met her on the street, 338 00:16:30,733 --> 00:16:32,066 she was back in Boston. 339 00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:33,933 So it was a year or two later. 340 00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:35,500 And as I approached the stage door, 341 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:39,100 wouldn't you know, she and a friend were returning 342 00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,966 to the stage door, maybe from lunch. 343 00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:44,333 And there we were coincidentally 344 00:16:45,566 --> 00:16:48,100 arriving at the stage door at the same moment. 345 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:52,100 And I mean, I tried to hold in my like (Keith gasps). 346 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:57,566 Because as soon as she saw me see her, 347 00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:02,300 I was like, uh-oh, I don't think she wants to see me. 348 00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:08,700 And then she said to me, "Why me? 349 00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:13,300 Why am I the benefactor of all this love and art making?" 350 00:17:16,966 --> 00:17:20,033 And I sort of didn't know what to say 351 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:24,833 because don't you know? 352 00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,966 Didn't you, haven't we, isn't it? 353 00:17:26,966 --> 00:17:27,833 I thought that. 354 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:33,666 It's like that line from the Matrix where Morpheus says, 355 00:17:33,666 --> 00:17:36,233 "I had a dream. 356 00:17:36,233 --> 00:17:39,666 That dream has left me now." (Keith laughs) 357 00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:42,000 I've come to understand that moment differently 358 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:42,833 through the years, 359 00:17:42,833 --> 00:17:45,566 but it was like 360 00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:48,500 having the wind taken out of you in a moment. 361 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:52,300 And I realized that I wasn't gonna be invited backstage. 362 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:54,333 This wasn't the party. 363 00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:55,700 This was actually like, 364 00:17:57,233 --> 00:17:59,966 I don't understand why you're doing this. 365 00:18:01,066 --> 00:18:03,033 So I fumbled through something like, 366 00:18:03,033 --> 00:18:05,266 "Well, I can't tell you now, you know, 367 00:18:05,266 --> 00:18:07,733 in 30 seconds standing outside the stage door. 368 00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:10,133 But you know, giving is for the giver, 369 00:18:10,133 --> 00:18:13,366 and the receiver is just extra." 370 00:18:13,366 --> 00:18:16,233 She's like, "Ah, okay, all right. 371 00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:19,933 Well, you know, enjoy the show." 372 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:20,800 And she was gone. 373 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,400 And I was crushed 374 00:18:25,366 --> 00:18:26,266 until I wasn't. 375 00:18:28,366 --> 00:18:29,866 (gentle music) 376 00:18:29,866 --> 00:18:33,266 In 2015, I got an email (email dings) saying, 377 00:18:33,266 --> 00:18:36,100 "Hey, this is Ani DiFranco. 378 00:18:37,433 --> 00:18:40,733 Thanks for all the art you've sent me over the years. 379 00:18:40,733 --> 00:18:43,233 I'm gonna be in your neck of the woods. 380 00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:46,900 Would you like to come after a show and hang out?" 381 00:18:49,033 --> 00:18:54,033 Words that I had longed to hear for 20 years. 382 00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:56,633 - At the time that he, you know, 383 00:18:56,633 --> 00:18:58,733 had the whole trip about Ani DiFranco, 384 00:18:58,733 --> 00:19:01,200 I was like, this, you know, 385 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,466 this guy is like in a dream world. 386 00:19:03,466 --> 00:19:04,633 Like this is not gonna happen. 387 00:19:04,633 --> 00:19:05,700 This is not happening. 388 00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:06,700 This is not true. 389 00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,633 You're imagining things. 390 00:19:10,033 --> 00:19:14,166 And I mean, I've kinda held that thought belief up until 391 00:19:14,166 --> 00:19:16,833 when they started to actually communicate with one another, 392 00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:19,666 became friends where I was like, holy (beeps). 393 00:19:19,666 --> 00:19:21,933 - As soon as that happened, 394 00:19:21,933 --> 00:19:26,633 my entire attitude changed about Keith. 395 00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,833 I admired Keith all of a sudden. 396 00:19:29,833 --> 00:19:33,633 He kind of, he brought me to a different level 397 00:19:33,633 --> 00:19:35,133 of possibilities. 398 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,966 - Well, it's been over 20 years, 399 00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:43,633 but in about two weeks, Ani DiFranco is coming over 400 00:19:43,633 --> 00:19:46,833 to participate in this film, to hang out, 401 00:19:46,833 --> 00:19:50,300 to share her experience of what this all was. 402 00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:53,166 We're gonna have the party 403 00:19:53,166 --> 00:19:55,033 that I've always been hoping for. 404 00:19:56,466 --> 00:19:59,200 (guitar playing) 405 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,433 ♪ I'll be your biggest fan 406 00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:04,266 ♪ I'll be your fool 407 00:20:04,266 --> 00:20:06,433 ♪ I'll be your exception 408 00:20:06,433 --> 00:20:09,666 ♪ Do whatever the rules. 409 00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:10,500 - For many years 410 00:20:12,533 --> 00:20:17,533 I was intimidated by the intensity of his, 411 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,266 you know, love that he was pouring back at me 412 00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,800 from the ether. 413 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,700 I don't think I have nearly the memories that he does. 414 00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:32,033 - If it's okay with you, I actually wanted to start 415 00:20:32,033 --> 00:20:34,333 by asking you a broad question. 416 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:35,633 - [Ani] Yeah. 417 00:20:35,633 --> 00:20:37,533 - What's your relationship like with fans? 418 00:20:37,533 --> 00:20:40,933 - Right from the beginning I had super fans, right? 419 00:20:40,933 --> 00:20:45,800 You know, I guess when I just had very few listeners at all. 420 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,466 In the beginning, I was like, whoa, 421 00:20:47,466 --> 00:20:49,933 why is this happening to me? 422 00:20:49,933 --> 00:20:51,033 Why is this coming at me? 423 00:20:51,033 --> 00:20:52,700 And then I realized, oh, (Ani laughs) 424 00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:56,100 because I'm doing that too, 425 00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,866 coming very intensely at the world. 426 00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:03,866 There was a time in the late 90s and early aughts 427 00:21:04,566 --> 00:21:06,066 that it was too much. 428 00:21:06,066 --> 00:21:10,033 It was just like, I was a symbol that represented something, 429 00:21:10,033 --> 00:21:12,566 and they were there, you know, 430 00:21:12,566 --> 00:21:16,066 with no awareness of my humanity or, 431 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:19,200 and no real, you know, it was like souvenir. 432 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:24,200 They wanted a thing, or a thing, or a thing, or more things. 433 00:21:25,366 --> 00:21:28,400 I sort of felt just constantly eviscerated, 434 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:32,233 and drained, and disregarded. 435 00:21:32,233 --> 00:21:36,233 And you know, of course there's people who do give back, 436 00:21:36,233 --> 00:21:39,033 not just want, and want, and want more. 437 00:21:39,033 --> 00:21:40,500 - Do you have a memory 438 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:43,500 of the first time Keith was on your radar? 439 00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:47,700 - I believe that his artwork hit my radar 440 00:21:49,033 --> 00:21:51,900 at some point early on 'cause it's so exceptional, 441 00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:55,700 you know, that the beauty of his offerings. 442 00:21:57,233 --> 00:22:01,633 Again, though, like how many hours went into constructing 443 00:22:01,633 --> 00:22:03,066 this very detailed? 444 00:22:03,066 --> 00:22:05,400 And the experience, and you open it, 445 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,633 and the thing comes out, 446 00:22:06,633 --> 00:22:09,066 and then that thing like grows into a thing, and- 447 00:22:09,066 --> 00:22:11,133 - I happen to have one right here. 448 00:22:11,133 --> 00:22:12,233 (Ani laughs) - Yeah. 449 00:22:12,233 --> 00:22:13,466 (gentle music) 450 00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:17,133 You know, I think when these types of things, 451 00:22:17,133 --> 00:22:19,900 beautiful works of art, 452 00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:22,433 it was like, oh, this is that same person 453 00:22:22,433 --> 00:22:24,833 as that other thing from. 454 00:22:24,833 --> 00:22:29,233 And then he, I don't know if he had just intuited 455 00:22:29,233 --> 00:22:32,433 that sending to the office is not the quick. 456 00:22:32,433 --> 00:22:35,166 So things would come to venues, 457 00:22:35,166 --> 00:22:37,000 and they would arrive the day before. 458 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,600 Like he'd know, and they would care of. 459 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,833 And so I'd walk into a dressing room, 460 00:22:42,833 --> 00:22:45,500 and there would be a thing. 461 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,666 It's like, oh, there's that guy again. 462 00:22:47,666 --> 00:22:50,433 My friend Heidi, who is my mistress of merch, 463 00:22:50,433 --> 00:22:55,400 she became aware of Keith and who this artist actually is, 464 00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:57,733 and when they're turning up. 465 00:22:57,733 --> 00:23:01,666 And swear, I think my first memory of meeting Keith, 466 00:23:01,666 --> 00:23:04,700 I was sick as a dog, 467 00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:06,666 but I think it was Heidi who said, 468 00:23:06,666 --> 00:23:08,666 "You know, Keith is outside the bus." 469 00:23:08,666 --> 00:23:10,366 And I was like, (beeps) 470 00:23:10,366 --> 00:23:14,333 I'm gonna go say hi to this crazy person. 471 00:23:14,333 --> 00:23:17,166 And, but I couldn't say hi 'cause I couldn't talk. 472 00:23:17,166 --> 00:23:18,366 I couldn't say anything. 473 00:23:19,666 --> 00:23:21,500 I went out and I wrote a note. 474 00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:24,200 I can't talk and I can't do the show tonight. 475 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,000 Thank you, you know, I don't know, 476 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,166 for all the gifts. 477 00:23:29,166 --> 00:23:33,466 And then he took it, and he crumbled it up, and he ate it. 478 00:23:33,466 --> 00:23:35,233 (Ani laughs) The note. 479 00:23:35,233 --> 00:23:38,333 Ever memorable is he. 480 00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:43,333 I would say the messages, I heard them along the way, 481 00:23:45,833 --> 00:23:50,833 and they told me that he was really hearing my music. 482 00:23:51,866 --> 00:23:54,666 He would say little messages back 483 00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:57,300 to the little messages I send out in songs. 484 00:23:57,300 --> 00:24:00,733 I felt seen, you know, and heard. 485 00:24:00,733 --> 00:24:02,433 He's right, you know? 486 00:24:02,433 --> 00:24:03,466 He's right. 487 00:24:03,466 --> 00:24:06,233 I was talking to him. 488 00:24:06,233 --> 00:24:10,900 And it's not true in the context that he was devising, 489 00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:13,400 but it's true, very true in another way, 490 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,800 like I am very much talking right to anyone 491 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,066 who chooses to listen 492 00:24:18,066 --> 00:24:21,600 or has the ears to hear what I'm saying. 493 00:24:23,066 --> 00:24:26,433 And there is a relationship there that exists in the ether, 494 00:24:26,433 --> 00:24:28,133 and it is intimate. 495 00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:31,566 You know, I agree with all of that. 496 00:24:31,566 --> 00:24:35,633 On some level, maybe we are meeting in our dreams. 497 00:24:35,633 --> 00:24:37,900 Maybe we do know each other. 498 00:24:37,900 --> 00:24:41,100 Maybe we are having a conversation. 499 00:24:41,100 --> 00:24:42,566 On some level, I believe, 500 00:24:42,566 --> 00:24:45,600 yes, that's what I'm doing with my art. 501 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,400 That doesn't mean you should turn up in my bedroom. 502 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,700 I had a bipolar, I mean maybe schizophrenic, 503 00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:56,100 or whatever person turn up in my bedroom. 504 00:24:56,100 --> 00:24:57,600 - A stranger. - A stranger. 505 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,866 - Did you ever feel threatened by Keith? 506 00:24:59,866 --> 00:25:03,800 - I remember my Heidi had tipped me that he was coming. 507 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:08,800 So I put this poem Parameters that I wrote 508 00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:13,800 about that experience of having a fan wait for me, 509 00:25:15,033 --> 00:25:16,833 and break into my house, 510 00:25:16,833 --> 00:25:19,966 and wait for me to come home alone, 511 00:25:19,966 --> 00:25:23,000 and be upstairs in my bedroom in the dark 512 00:25:24,433 --> 00:25:28,500 between me and the door for a perilous amount of time. 513 00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:30,966 A dude, you know, who 514 00:25:33,466 --> 00:25:37,466 knew very clearly that we had been speaking through my songs 515 00:25:37,466 --> 00:25:38,833 and that I had called him. 516 00:25:40,766 --> 00:25:42,933 I put that poem on the set list, 517 00:25:42,933 --> 00:25:46,033 and I just remember delivering the poem to Keith. 518 00:25:46,033 --> 00:25:49,500 That was actually me speaking directly to Keith Wasserman 519 00:25:50,933 --> 00:25:55,833 from stage saying, this is why I don't write you back. 520 00:25:56,866 --> 00:26:01,733 I feel the expectation is building, 521 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,066 and I need you to understand. 522 00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:08,900 Little poem called Parameters. 523 00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:11,533 33 years go by, 524 00:26:11,533 --> 00:26:12,866 and not once do you come home 525 00:26:12,866 --> 00:26:15,100 to find a man sitting in your bedroom, 526 00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:18,933 that is a man you don't know who came a long way 527 00:26:18,933 --> 00:26:22,166 to deliver one very specific message. 528 00:26:22,166 --> 00:26:24,200 Lock your back door, you idiot. 529 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,533 However invincible you imagine yourself to be- 530 00:26:28,866 --> 00:26:32,200 I do remember when his packages started to include 531 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,933 the word or images of a wife and then daughter. 532 00:26:34,933 --> 00:26:36,600 And that, (Ani exhales) 533 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:38,900 you know, I just felt, okay. 534 00:26:38,900 --> 00:26:41,566 I think that was when I considered opening the door. 535 00:26:41,566 --> 00:26:43,000 And then I did. 536 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,833 ♪ You gotta meet my little girl ♪ 537 00:26:45,833 --> 00:26:48,500 ♪ She's really just so sweet 538 00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:53,400 ♪ Love the pitter-patter of her precious little feet ♪ 539 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:57,733 - Yeah, so finally we met, and that was fantastic. 540 00:26:57,733 --> 00:27:00,066 We had a little visit after a show one night 541 00:27:00,066 --> 00:27:03,333 when I finally just put down the drawbridge. 542 00:27:03,333 --> 00:27:04,433 (Ani laughs) 543 00:27:04,433 --> 00:27:06,633 And he crossed over and we hung out. 544 00:27:06,633 --> 00:27:09,433 And of course he's completely captivating and charming. 545 00:27:09,433 --> 00:27:13,800 And he bestowed his magic upon my kids. 546 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,333 You know, we went and visited, 547 00:27:15,333 --> 00:27:17,600 and he had constructed this treasure hunt 548 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,133 on the beautiful property that they were living on. 549 00:27:20,133 --> 00:27:23,500 And I don't know if my kids appreciated it 550 00:27:23,500 --> 00:27:25,633 nearly as much as me, 551 00:27:25,633 --> 00:27:28,466 but you know, that's the kind of magic 552 00:27:28,466 --> 00:27:31,433 that doesn't exist in everyone 553 00:27:31,433 --> 00:27:33,100 and doesn't come along every day. 554 00:27:34,433 --> 00:27:36,933 (light music) 555 00:27:38,100 --> 00:27:41,100 - When Ani DiFranco first emailed me, 556 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:42,300 she said something like, 557 00:27:42,300 --> 00:27:44,233 "You've given me so much over the years. 558 00:27:44,233 --> 00:27:47,000 Is there anything that I can give you in return?" 559 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,800 And I said, "Really, the only thing I want is time 560 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,633 to tell you this epic story that I have, 561 00:27:53,633 --> 00:27:57,266 which would explain and maybe help you make sense of 562 00:27:57,266 --> 00:28:01,300 why I've been sending you this art for 20 years." 563 00:28:02,566 --> 00:28:06,066 Of course, it was the story of my manic episodes, 564 00:28:06,066 --> 00:28:09,133 but we never really found that time. 565 00:28:11,366 --> 00:28:16,066 And several years later, I had another manic episode, 566 00:28:16,066 --> 00:28:18,500 and during that episode, 567 00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:20,500 I thought that Ani was trying to reach out to me. 568 00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:21,833 I thought she was trying to call me. 569 00:28:21,833 --> 00:28:25,500 And so I decided I'd call her instead. 570 00:28:25,500 --> 00:28:26,900 I mean, I have her number. 571 00:28:26,900 --> 00:28:28,133 We've been on the phone. 572 00:28:29,466 --> 00:28:31,633 Except it was three o'clock in the morning. 573 00:28:33,033 --> 00:28:37,500 And the next day my wife got a voicemail from Ani DiFranco. 574 00:28:38,333 --> 00:28:40,633 - Hey Heidi, it's Ani calling. 575 00:28:40,633 --> 00:28:42,233 Um, hi. 576 00:28:42,233 --> 00:28:44,666 So last night at like three in the morning, 577 00:28:44,666 --> 00:28:49,666 I get a few texts in series from Keith saying 578 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:51,833 something or other and then call me. 579 00:28:51,833 --> 00:28:54,900 I'm not sure what's happening, 580 00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:59,000 but if there's anything I can do to help, let me know. 581 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,633 Yeah, no, I just felt empathy 582 00:29:00,633 --> 00:29:05,233 because this is my friend now who is in trouble. 583 00:29:05,233 --> 00:29:09,233 If I didn't have like a lot of experience with mania, 584 00:29:09,233 --> 00:29:14,066 maybe I would've gotten more freaked out. 585 00:29:14,066 --> 00:29:15,366 But for me it's like, ah, 586 00:29:17,900 --> 00:29:21,233 he needs to be tied to the earth. 587 00:29:22,433 --> 00:29:24,400 Those are my favorite people often, 588 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,200 you know, people who create their own worlds. 589 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,866 Those are most artists. 590 00:29:30,866 --> 00:29:34,066 I feel like I can relate very much. 591 00:29:34,066 --> 00:29:39,066 I feel way more than I want to feel most of the time. 592 00:29:39,766 --> 00:29:41,366 And there's a price. 593 00:29:41,366 --> 00:29:43,066 You know, it's a great gift. 594 00:29:44,233 --> 00:29:46,900 You can put beauty and magic in the world, 595 00:29:46,900 --> 00:29:51,900 and you can amplify being alive for people around you. 596 00:29:53,733 --> 00:29:56,066 And you can set people free, 597 00:29:56,066 --> 00:29:59,633 and you pay a price, you know? 598 00:29:59,633 --> 00:30:01,600 So I understand. 599 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:05,400 It's like, yes, if anything, I just felt empathy. 600 00:30:07,733 --> 00:30:09,200 Empathy, not sympathy. 601 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:13,566 I felt empathy for the price that you have to pay 602 00:30:13,566 --> 00:30:14,766 when you're that guy. 603 00:30:21,566 --> 00:30:23,400 (gentle music) 604 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:26,466 - I thought I would bring my stuff and stuffs, 605 00:30:26,466 --> 00:30:29,400 and we could collage, and we could paint. 606 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,900 There was this piece where 607 00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:42,133 somebody might see something that I made before I sent it 608 00:30:42,133 --> 00:30:45,233 and would wanna know, like, "Oh, have you ever heard back? 609 00:30:45,233 --> 00:30:46,233 Have you ever da, da?" 610 00:30:46,233 --> 00:30:47,700 I'm like, "No, it's, you know." 611 00:30:47,700 --> 00:30:48,933 "Well, how can you?" 612 00:30:48,933 --> 00:30:53,200 It's like it's really more about the work. 613 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:54,566 And personally, 614 00:30:54,566 --> 00:30:58,766 I feel like each album that I made got better. 615 00:30:58,766 --> 00:31:00,800 Each artwork that I made got better, 616 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,266 more interesting, more fun. 617 00:31:04,266 --> 00:31:09,266 And if I was ever going to actually excite you, impress you, 618 00:31:10,966 --> 00:31:14,866 and you know, tickle your fancy, pique your interest, 619 00:31:14,866 --> 00:31:16,333 it was gonna be through the work. 620 00:31:16,333 --> 00:31:18,833 That was sort of my feeling. 621 00:31:18,833 --> 00:31:22,766 And the decade or more of like, oh, not yet. 622 00:31:22,766 --> 00:31:24,266 I haven't heard yet. 623 00:31:24,266 --> 00:31:25,366 I haven't heard back yet. 624 00:31:25,366 --> 00:31:26,600 - Haven't heard back yet. 625 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:27,966 - Was like, okay, I gotta keep working. 626 00:31:27,966 --> 00:31:29,533 - [Ani] Not stopping. 627 00:31:29,533 --> 00:31:30,366 - I gotta keep working. - Love it. 628 00:31:30,366 --> 00:31:31,633 I love it. 629 00:31:31,633 --> 00:31:32,533 That's so freaking cool. - Gotta keep working. 630 00:31:32,533 --> 00:31:34,100 Right, it's getting better. 631 00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:35,966 And you know, like in my own brain, 632 00:31:35,966 --> 00:31:37,766 I would hear encouragement. 633 00:31:37,766 --> 00:31:42,766 I would hear, I dig it, I wanna, I can't, you know? 634 00:31:43,633 --> 00:31:44,533 - I know she loved that one. 635 00:31:44,533 --> 00:31:45,966 - Yeah. 636 00:31:45,966 --> 00:31:49,366 - God, it's kind of blowing my mind all over again. 637 00:31:49,366 --> 00:31:50,666 - Yay. 638 00:31:50,666 --> 00:31:51,666 - All the lengths you went to. 639 00:31:53,700 --> 00:31:55,200 - That was the idea. 640 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,466 You know, I was like, how do you blow someone's mind? 641 00:31:57,466 --> 00:31:59,533 I wanna figure out how to blow someone's mind. 642 00:31:59,533 --> 00:32:00,500 - No, you did, you did. 643 00:32:00,500 --> 00:32:01,233 You succeeded. - Awesome. 644 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,433 - I met a lot of people who have big dreams 645 00:32:05,433 --> 00:32:07,100 but don't know how to reach them. 646 00:32:08,233 --> 00:32:12,266 Keith, he knows how to reach his dreams. 647 00:32:12,266 --> 00:32:16,033 - His agendas were not about the art world. 648 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,566 Yes, he wanted to be successful as an artist, 649 00:32:19,566 --> 00:32:21,700 but his agenda was about 650 00:32:24,233 --> 00:32:29,233 communicating with Ani as an equal and as a friend. 651 00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:33,766 And I didn't think it was possible and many people didn't, 652 00:32:33,766 --> 00:32:36,866 but Keith made that happen. 653 00:32:36,866 --> 00:32:41,866 And after that I wanted to just join Keith. 654 00:32:43,733 --> 00:32:47,333 - I'm not a jealous person and I'm not threatened. 655 00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:48,833 I trust in his love for me. 656 00:32:48,833 --> 00:32:53,766 And yet I know that he has a deep, deep love for Ani, 657 00:32:54,433 --> 00:32:56,066 and so do I. 658 00:32:56,066 --> 00:33:00,266 I mean, I really respect the lessons she's given him. 659 00:33:00,266 --> 00:33:02,433 I think she's made him a better man. 660 00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:08,333 And I just want him to live his life to the fullest, 661 00:33:08,333 --> 00:33:10,400 and I wanna be part of that journey with him. 662 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,400 - I actually believe in magic. 663 00:33:13,766 --> 00:33:18,233 It's like whatever he was imagining was real in 1998, 664 00:33:21,433 --> 00:33:23,633 has become real in the world. 665 00:33:23,633 --> 00:33:27,066 And whether it was actually real then or not, 666 00:33:27,066 --> 00:33:29,633 he made it real or it became real. 667 00:33:29,633 --> 00:33:30,966 And that's the miracle. 668 00:33:30,966 --> 00:33:32,800 That's the magic. 669 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:36,766 And we're right here in the middle of it. 670 00:33:36,766 --> 00:33:40,300 ♪ The depths of ever rest. 671 00:33:44,566 --> 00:33:47,100 (gentle music) 672 00:33:51,433 --> 00:33:55,300 - We are about to film me watching 673 00:33:55,300 --> 00:33:57,733 Ani's interview for the first time. 674 00:33:57,733 --> 00:34:02,666 I have been prepared for various balloons to go. 675 00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:05,300 (Keith exhaling) 676 00:34:05,300 --> 00:34:07,200 ♪ I'm so lucky to be home- 677 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:08,033 - [Phone] Yeah. 678 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,633 That's a funny way to put it. 679 00:34:14,566 --> 00:34:15,966 Hello? 680 00:34:15,966 --> 00:34:19,400 - Sorry, the balloon was still emptying out there. 681 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,633 (person on phone laughing) 682 00:34:21,633 --> 00:34:25,700 ♪ We've been all the way around ♪ 683 00:34:25,700 --> 00:34:30,700 ♪ And come back to love anew 684 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:39,633 ♪ And I am so lucky to be home with you ♪ 685 00:34:39,633 --> 00:34:42,466 - Look guys, if I get a cease and desist letter, 686 00:34:42,466 --> 00:34:44,500 I'll totally stop, right? 687 00:34:44,500 --> 00:34:46,866 - Cease collaging in my direction. 688 00:34:46,866 --> 00:34:49,066 - Yeah. - Or I'll have you arrested. 689 00:34:49,066 --> 00:34:50,333 - Please join us next week 690 00:34:50,333 --> 00:34:52,166 for our regularly scheduled program 691 00:34:52,166 --> 00:34:54,800 of Keith has a hypomanic episode. 692 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,000 (Keith laughs) 693 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,566 Thank you for coming and get home safely.